vampire assassin, Ruxandra cel Rau, granddaughter of Vlad Dracul, the Impaler. Only the facts have been changed to protect the innocent and, more particularly, the very, very guilty. Join the ultimate apex predator as she bids to secure the freedom of her backward-boy brother from the clutches of the reptilian overlords of the New World Order by sating her bloodlust on the sinners and saints of modern history (she’s an equal opportunities vampire psycho killer, after all). Drawing on his unique knowledge, gained whilst filing historical documents during a week’s work experience at the top secret headquarters of the Illuminati’s New World Order on a trading estate in Drogheda, Alex O’Connell takes you on a journey, spanning two World Wars, deep into the bilious belly of a world you never dreamed could be so corrupt. Rumours that O’Connell is being long-listed for the Nobel Prize for Literature remain as yet unconfirmed. Warning! Contains extreme violence, profanity and scenes of a sexual nature. With detailed historical notes and bonus features. ‘Alex is one sick MF. Gotta love him, baby.’ Dame Barbara Cartland. ‘It’s bloody funny. O’Connell’s humour is the blackest of black. I laughed till I stopped.’ Mother Teresa (that is O’Connell’s mother, Teresa). Only the truth can set you free.

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